No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
