Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
