Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
