I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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