do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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