Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
