weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize
