Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
