have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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