ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
