dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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