So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
