the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
