remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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