I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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