Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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