she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
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At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
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He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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