Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
