I want to make a zoo with you.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
