i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
