It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
