Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
