I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
