Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
