I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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