I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
