is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
