i would punch a child for taco bell
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
