It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, beer. Big fan.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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