i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
