I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
