my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
