I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
