I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
