you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
