I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
