just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
