She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if only i could text you this smell
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
