Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize