Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
