The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
