but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
