I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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