we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
