Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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