whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize