I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
