okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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