just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize