my vag is so smooth its legendary
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
