remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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