herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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