pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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