Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
