Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
