He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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