I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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