Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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