she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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