btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
