Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...