I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history