I wannas sexs uuuuu
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.