Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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